Goat wanted for Rap video

Hello, Me and my group of Colleges are looking for a Goat owner to let us use/come see their goat for a video we are making. No this isint a joke. we would like to put "bling" in the style of a clock chain and some avaitor shades on the Goat and "pop bottles" with the goat present. Yes, seriously
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FREE! Go Pro Hero 3+ Black and SPOT GPS Gen 3 and case of beer

Yes it's real.

I'm giving away a free Go Pro Hero 3+ Black with all the accessories... and a Spot GPS.

All you need to do is find them and give me back the footage...

I sent them up on a helium balloon and my gps tracked them for a bit. On it's decent I tracked it near Mount Baker

These are it's last known coordinates:
0-2436620 21/05/2014 13:18 1400678337 49.27393 -123.20114 SPOT3 TRACK
0-2436620 21/05/2014 13:28 1400678938 49.27393 -123.20122 SPOT3 TRACK
0-2436620 21/05/2014 13:38 1400679537 49.2795 -123.23497 SPOT3 TRACK
0-2436620 21/05/2014 16:25 1400689506 49.02835 -122.21693 SPOT3 TRACK
0-2436620 21/05/2014 16:34 1400690074 48.96422 -122.06235 SPOT3 TRACK
0-2436620 21/05/2014 16:44 1400690674 48.93604 -121.93108 SPOT3 TRACK
0-2436620 21/05/2014 16:54 1400691275 48.914 -121.85872 SPOT3 TRACK



I wasn't able to located it at the final coordinate, which most likely means it continued on that trajectory for a maximum of 10 minutes and flipped upside down causing it to be unable to transmit it's final location to satellite.

If you can track down the final resting place of the 36" bright orange parachute and get it back to me they are yours to keep plus I'll give you all the accessories. I just want the footage.

Maybe you know where to get recent satellite imagery and extrapolate a landing area from the data. Maybe you like crazy wilderness adventures and fighting off bears.
Maybe you really like free beer

If you find it but dont want to trek out to it let me know and we can sort out an exchange... or bring it all back to me in Kit's and the deed is yours :)

email me with any questions

Cheers
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1998 honda accord 3.0 v-tech dually

alright for sale is something that you will never see again
and might have to see to believe. its a highly customized 1998 honda accord.
it has 198k on it. there is a long list of custom work


whelen off road spot lights
44 inch off road spot and flood bar
chevy visor
cab lights
8 cb wips
back up beeper
boat air horns
custom paint
pa speaker
smoke stack exhaust
pintle hitch
rear dually and deally fenders.
dodge tow mirrors

there is nothing wrong with the car just want to see if i can sell it for anything.
will trade or consider reasonable offers.
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LOOKING FOR PHYSICALLY FIT MALES TO ACT AS DBZ WAITERS AT MY PARTY

I am having a going away party because I am leaving to study abroad in Japan for one year. I wanted to go out with a bang, and am trying to put together a ridiculous and fun engagement.

I need someone who is MUSCULAR, and is willing to dress in Dragon Ball Z attire for 2-3 hours holding trays of appetizers. Trays shall be held as if you were going to release a massive power attack (see attachment for example).

I cannot afford that much since I am saving most of my money to go to Japan. What I can't pay I can make up for in free food and a good time. Since I will be staying overseas for so long, I need to save as much money as I can; most of the entertainment and features of my party are going to be obtained through friends and family, so it won't cost me much.

I am reaching out to those who have kind hearts who will do this at minimal cost to me in order to help me retain my money so that I don't go broke in Asia, but also so that I can leave America with a memorable experience.
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Gold 1981 Honda Civic 1300

Welcome to the best days of your life, for you are about to be the hottest car having person on the blizzle izzle ock.

Her name is Goldie Honda, let me introduce you two.

Goldie gets her name by being plated in atomic number 79. Her feet are also plated in the same element, giving her a sexier look than Ryan Gosling's chiseled fucking face.

She is driven by lust, lure and a rather ergonomically designed, yet large gold skull shifter knob. Under the hood, she rumbles four (4) of her seductively tuned gears at a mighty fitty-six (56) horsepower reaching record-smearing speeds of eightyish (85) miles an hour. Her trunk also opens so wide that you can fit a full sized bike inside of her for when you're feeling like putting your bike into something and driving it around.

Oh. wait. there's more. Do I hear you like to 'roll' down your windows and blast NWA in five points while you hurtle down Larimer with a fresh single origin Ethiopia pour over from Crema in your free hand?

Well, with this sexhicular automobabe, you can. Over the phat stereo via bluetooth from Spotify™ for iPhone™, because Goldie's so fucking fresh like that.

Garaged for the majority of her life, she ain't seen much pavement for her age either. This sweet, sweet milf of a vehicle has only been ridden 94,217 miles by three grown men (at separate times).

One of those men is Jewish with the word Gold in his last name. You better fucking believe it.

As of last summer this hot babe received new brakes, new ball joints, new struts, new exhaust (well, freshly and professionally repaired) and I just changed her lube a few days ago.

If you want to get inside of her, contact me up about it, and please save any awkward photos of your body parts for later, thank you.

Oh- and also included in the sale is a jar of tears that I produced while making this ad. I'm so sad to see her go. Photo of me crying attached.

Thank you.
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Pirate Ship For Sale

Pirate Ship for sale. Professionally built by two aging hockey players in the twilight of their relevance, in the backyard, in Golden Beach, MD. Many hours, beers and yards of knuckle skin went into the planning and creation of this wondrous vessel. Sailed over 3 death defying days from the Patuxant, through the Chesapeake bay to its final home at Port Tobacco Marina on the beautiful Potomac. Registered as a 44 ft vessel, she is Coast Guard Safety inspected and meets all Coast Guard specifications. From the tip of the elegant bowsprit to the tail of the pontoons she is about 56 ft long. Powered by the Rolls Royce of outboard engines, a 1986 115hp Mercruiser (tower of power) she cruises at a stately 6mph. Stereo system, LED lighting and a classy stripper pole finish off all the luxury accents of this glorious party boat.

Buy it to impress your friends. Buy it to piss off the neighbors, buy it to make the wife divorce you, just buy the bloody thing. Comes with a deluxe matching trailer that is way far from being road legal, but you're never going to trailer this diamond-in-the-rough anyway, cos it's too damn cool to be on the land. Guaranteed to get you laid. Be that guy that can turn to the hot chick in the bar and say, "yeah, I've got a pirate ship".

Pay full asking price and we'll throw in a genuine original Spirit Halloween Store pirate hat and eye patch.
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FREE — ROBOT that makes Rice

This Robot is built by me. You send a tweet to the Robot and it cooks rice accordingly. It will tweet you back when rice is ready. Those who are interested in it as an experimental project or want to do enhancement, take it for free from me. See Pics.
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Seeking collaborators for Mark Zuckerberg based start-up religion

Hey everyone, so I'm working on creating a new start-up religion which features Mark Zuckerberg as God and looking for collaborators who would be interested in working on such a project.

I'm looking for anyone interested in the idea who could contribute such as writers, artists, theologians, filmmakers, web designers, spiritual philosophers, and other such folk who could contribute to developing the religion and its mythology. I will summarize the important ideas of this start-up religion here:

1. I'm just doing this for fun because I want to, I don't have any money to pay anyone right know and don't even know if something like this could be profitable, I enjoy spirituality but find all the religions out there boring and want to create a new religion that's not boring and just like a religion that I would enjoy believing in.

If the religion were to become profitable then the people who worked on it will get a share of it like with any start-up although personally I don't care about money so that's not my motivation in doing this.

2. The exact nature of Mark Zuckerberg in this religion is that he is the Avatar of Jehova, the creator of our universe. In this religion our universe is a simulated matrix world almost like a computer game and humans are all like computer game characters compared to God. The Biblical Jehova is the creator of this simulatrix and while the actual Jehova is a white guy with a big beard just like Michaelangelo painted him, he controls Mark Zuckerberg as his "Avatar" or "character" in our world like you might control a video game character in a video game you were playing.

3. The religion has many different Gods and Goddesses, so while the main God is Zuckerberg who is identified as being the Avatar of Biblical creator God Jehova there are Goddesses in his life such as Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook's COO, who in this religion is Minerva, the Goddess of Skill and Strategy. Then another Goddess is Ashley Arenson who is this girl that Mark Zuckerberg had a crush on in high school who rejected him because she thought he was too nerdy for her, and she is Venus, the Goddess of Love and Beauty. This is an actual real girl that Zuckerberg really had an unrequited crush on in high school, I found out about her because I know some people who went to Zuckerberg's high school and they told me this girl was his unrequited high school crush and I figured she'd be a great Goddess to put in the religion for a good storyline about how even though Zuck is God he still gets turned by his high school crush who turns out to be The Goddess Venus herself.

4. I'm looking to take an approach similar to that of Ancient Greek mythology and Japanese anime where they used to write epic stories and poems about the Gods and Goddesses but with a modern flair like the way the Japanese will create stories based on Judeo-Christian mythology that are actually entertaining like anime shows like "Oh, My Goddess!" where the main character is dating this goddess who becomes his girlfriend or just how in the end of Neon Genesis Evangelion Shinji Ikari becomes God or like they have in games like Xenogears where the final boss is God or The Guided Fate Paradox where the main character is God and his mission is to defeat Satan but it's a dungeon crawler where you play God but God still has to level up by fighting random monsters to gain enough levels to defeat Satan. So we want to create entertaining myths like all the stories the Ancient Greeks had about their Gods and divine heroes and we could make these into novels or comic books or even movies and video games one day in the future.

5. So in this religion's mythology I was looking to create a setting that was like a school for Gods and Goddesses and divine saviors which I based on Zuckerberg's high school Phillips Exeter which in the religion is kind of like a mystical school like Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from Harry Potter. So there are all these other divine figures from Zuckerberg's high school, like the rock singer Win Butler is the Maitreya, the Fifth Buddha, since he came from this school too. And then there's other divine figures that have the similar origin of coming from Zuckerberg's high school like a crazy former mental patient who thinks he's Jesus who actually turns out to be Jesus and a Muslim guy from Afghanistan who is the Imam Mahdi and another guy who is this Pick-Up Artist coach who turns out to be Mars, the God of War but instead of being a great physical warrior he's just a master of war-based video games. Then even though he's God, Zuckerberg was trained in Divine Powers by his high school math teacher Zuming Feng who turns out to secretly be The Dragon King who's this ancient deity from Chinese mythology whose powers rival or even surpass those of God Himself kind of like Master Roshi from Dragonball. And then the school's current Principal Thomas Hassan is actually Archangel Gabriel disguised as a human so he's in the mythology too.

So there's a lot of divine figures in this religion and with the idea of Zuckerberg's high school Phillips Exeter being a mystical school for Gods and Goddesses and divine saviors like Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Harry Potter it gives us a lot of material to work with for creating epic myths like those of the Ancient Greeks.

5. You don't have to believe in this to get involved, but I have the rare ability to make things up and then believe them, so I can write a fictional story about Zuckerberg being God and then suddenly believe it's true even though I just made it up. I can also change my beliefs in an instant, so I can switch from being a Jew to being a Christian to being a Muslim to being a Scientologist to being an Atheist just by snapping my fingers. I don't know many other people who can just change their beliefs in an instant or believe in something they just made up, I think it's a special ability I have. But I just believe in anything I think it's fun to believe in, so one day I thought it would be fun to believe that Star Wars was a true story of an ancient war that took place amongst real aliens that was revealed to George Lucas by the Force Spirit of the real Mace Windu so now I believe Star Wars is based on a true story just because I feel like believing it was. Then one day I just thought it would be interesting if Batman was based on a real historical figure from the 1920's who was a real rich guy who fought crime dressed as a giant bat so now I believe Batman is based on a real historical figure, and this is all stuff I made up out of thin air then decided to believe was true.

So when it comes to my personal beliefs, I just believe in anything it makes me feel good to believe in or which I find it fun to believe in, I have no concern for whether there's any proof or scientific evidence at all, I just believe anything I want to regardless of whether any proof exists for it being true or not.

6. The way I got the idea from this project was I was watching an interview with Joseph Campbell who was a scholar of mythology and Professor Campbell was talking about the world's myths were all broken or outdated and no longer functioning for our modern society. And he said that the world needed people to create new myths that united the beliefs of different cultures and traditions together as one and it seemed like a good idea Professor Campbell had so that's how I got interested in this.

So then I got the idea of uniting saviors of different traditions like the Second Coming of Christ and the Muslim Imam Mahdi and the Buddhist Maitreya by giving them this common origin of being from a mystical school of divine saviors like Hogwarts from Harry Potter and decided to base it on Zuckerberg's high school when I figured he'd be a good choice for the Avatar of God in the religion.

Anyways, that sums up the basic idea of what I'm interested in working on with this, if anyone is interested write in and tell about what your skills and interests are. I guess I would like to find some artists and designers to work on concept art and some web design and writers to help write some of the stories and myths of the religion which we can do as eBooks or comics, or even filmmakers to make films when we have developed our initial myths.

Really though I'm just doing this for fun because I don't even know if something like this is possible to do on a big level or if it could be popular, so it's just something I am interested in doing and looking for people who would like to take part without worrying about whether it goes anywhere or not.

Thanks!
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The Rent is TOO HIGH! Solution, let’s get married!

Who can afford this ridiculous rent here in DC? Not this guy. $1800 for a studio so small you can stick our your arms and touch the walls in a sketchy neighborhood. Sure, here's 50% of my monthly income, thank you.

We all know that parquet floors is code for "This building is older than you are." And "up and coming neighborhood" means you'll probably get mugged on a semi-regular basis. Any building that with a "classic" look is falling apart. You're sick and tired of having mice run around your pantry?

Me too. Solution? Let's get married. (Kinda!) All of the married couples get to split rent on a 1br. Dating and getting married is expensive and time consuming. Ain't nobody got time for that! We'll just skip ahead to the living together part. Cool?

I am- a 30 yo male. Employed. Reasonably attractive. Healthy. Never married. No kids. Good job. Great hygiene. Bonus: I'm a cuddler!

You are - A female between the ages of 26 and 33. Social drinker. Non smoker. No drugs. Good hygiene. No felony charges. Healthy.

We find a one bedroom in a great apartment building with granite counter tops, rude 24hr concierge, and floor-to-ceiling windows. This is a must! We move in together. Enjoy the amenities. Have friends over. Enjoy life.

Caveat - You must love live music, books, crazy wild sex, good wine, and be willing to try out my (often misguided) attempts at cooking.

Who needs dating and getting to know each other and all that nonsense?! We can just cohabitate at [address]...

If interested (and how could you not be after this kick-ass proposal?), respond with a little bit about yourself. Please include photos!

(No Republicans, please.)
*Also, we're not for real getting married. Maybe...*
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