Seeking collaborators for Mark Zuckerberg based start-up religion

Hey everyone, so I'm working on creating a new start-up religion which features Mark Zuckerberg as God and looking for collaborators who would be interested in working on such a project.

I'm looking for anyone interested in the idea who could contribute such as writers, artists, theologians, filmmakers, web designers, spiritual philosophers, and other such folk who could contribute to developing the religion and its mythology. I will summarize the important ideas of this start-up religion here:

1. I'm just doing this for fun because I want to, I don't have any money to pay anyone right know and don't even know if something like this could be profitable, I enjoy spirituality but find all the religions out there boring and want to create a new religion that's not boring and just like a religion that I would enjoy believing in.

If the religion were to become profitable then the people who worked on it will get a share of it like with any start-up although personally I don't care about money so that's not my motivation in doing this.

2. The exact nature of Mark Zuckerberg in this religion is that he is the Avatar of Jehova, the creator of our universe. In this religion our universe is a simulated matrix world almost like a computer game and humans are all like computer game characters compared to God. The Biblical Jehova is the creator of this simulatrix and while the actual Jehova is a white guy with a big beard just like Michaelangelo painted him, he controls Mark Zuckerberg as his "Avatar" or "character" in our world like you might control a video game character in a video game you were playing.

3. The religion has many different Gods and Goddesses, so while the main God is Zuckerberg who is identified as being the Avatar of Biblical creator God Jehova there are Goddesses in his life such as Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook's COO, who in this religion is Minerva, the Goddess of Skill and Strategy. Then another Goddess is Ashley Arenson who is this girl that Mark Zuckerberg had a crush on in high school who rejected him because she thought he was too nerdy for her, and she is Venus, the Goddess of Love and Beauty. This is an actual real girl that Zuckerberg really had an unrequited crush on in high school, I found out about her because I know some people who went to Zuckerberg's high school and they told me this girl was his unrequited high school crush and I figured she'd be a great Goddess to put in the religion for a good storyline about how even though Zuck is God he still gets turned by his high school crush who turns out to be The Goddess Venus herself.

4. I'm looking to take an approach similar to that of Ancient Greek mythology and Japanese anime where they used to write epic stories and poems about the Gods and Goddesses but with a modern flair like the way the Japanese will create stories based on Judeo-Christian mythology that are actually entertaining like anime shows like "Oh, My Goddess!" where the main character is dating this goddess who becomes his girlfriend or just how in the end of Neon Genesis Evangelion Shinji Ikari becomes God or like they have in games like Xenogears where the final boss is God or The Guided Fate Paradox where the main character is God and his mission is to defeat Satan but it's a dungeon crawler where you play God but God still has to level up by fighting random monsters to gain enough levels to defeat Satan. So we want to create entertaining myths like all the stories the Ancient Greeks had about their Gods and divine heroes and we could make these into novels or comic books or even movies and video games one day in the future.

5. So in this religion's mythology I was looking to create a setting that was like a school for Gods and Goddesses and divine saviors which I based on Zuckerberg's high school Phillips Exeter which in the religion is kind of like a mystical school like Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from Harry Potter. So there are all these other divine figures from Zuckerberg's high school, like the rock singer Win Butler is the Maitreya, the Fifth Buddha, since he came from this school too. And then there's other divine figures that have the similar origin of coming from Zuckerberg's high school like a crazy former mental patient who thinks he's Jesus who actually turns out to be Jesus and a Muslim guy from Afghanistan who is the Imam Mahdi and another guy who is this Pick-Up Artist coach who turns out to be Mars, the God of War but instead of being a great physical warrior he's just a master of war-based video games. Then even though he's God, Zuckerberg was trained in Divine Powers by his high school math teacher Zuming Feng who turns out to secretly be The Dragon King who's this ancient deity from Chinese mythology whose powers rival or even surpass those of God Himself kind of like Master Roshi from Dragonball. And then the school's current Principal Thomas Hassan is actually Archangel Gabriel disguised as a human so he's in the mythology too.

So there's a lot of divine figures in this religion and with the idea of Zuckerberg's high school Phillips Exeter being a mystical school for Gods and Goddesses and divine saviors like Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Harry Potter it gives us a lot of material to work with for creating epic myths like those of the Ancient Greeks.

5. You don't have to believe in this to get involved, but I have the rare ability to make things up and then believe them, so I can write a fictional story about Zuckerberg being God and then suddenly believe it's true even though I just made it up. I can also change my beliefs in an instant, so I can switch from being a Jew to being a Christian to being a Muslim to being a Scientologist to being an Atheist just by snapping my fingers. I don't know many other people who can just change their beliefs in an instant or believe in something they just made up, I think it's a special ability I have. But I just believe in anything I think it's fun to believe in, so one day I thought it would be fun to believe that Star Wars was a true story of an ancient war that took place amongst real aliens that was revealed to George Lucas by the Force Spirit of the real Mace Windu so now I believe Star Wars is based on a true story just because I feel like believing it was. Then one day I just thought it would be interesting if Batman was based on a real historical figure from the 1920's who was a real rich guy who fought crime dressed as a giant bat so now I believe Batman is based on a real historical figure, and this is all stuff I made up out of thin air then decided to believe was true.

So when it comes to my personal beliefs, I just believe in anything it makes me feel good to believe in or which I find it fun to believe in, I have no concern for whether there's any proof or scientific evidence at all, I just believe anything I want to regardless of whether any proof exists for it being true or not.

6. The way I got the idea from this project was I was watching an interview with Joseph Campbell who was a scholar of mythology and Professor Campbell was talking about the world's myths were all broken or outdated and no longer functioning for our modern society. And he said that the world needed people to create new myths that united the beliefs of different cultures and traditions together as one and it seemed like a good idea Professor Campbell had so that's how I got interested in this.

So then I got the idea of uniting saviors of different traditions like the Second Coming of Christ and the Muslim Imam Mahdi and the Buddhist Maitreya by giving them this common origin of being from a mystical school of divine saviors like Hogwarts from Harry Potter and decided to base it on Zuckerberg's high school when I figured he'd be a good choice for the Avatar of God in the religion.

Anyways, that sums up the basic idea of what I'm interested in working on with this, if anyone is interested write in and tell about what your skills and interests are. I guess I would like to find some artists and designers to work on concept art and some web design and writers to help write some of the stories and myths of the religion which we can do as eBooks or comics, or even filmmakers to make films when we have developed our initial myths.

Really though I'm just doing this for fun because I don't even know if something like this is possible to do on a big level or if it could be popular, so it's just something I am interested in doing and looking for people who would like to take part without worrying about whether it goes anywhere or not.

Thanks!
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The Rent is TOO HIGH! Solution, let’s get married!

Who can afford this ridiculous rent here in DC? Not this guy. $1800 for a studio so small you can stick our your arms and touch the walls in a sketchy neighborhood. Sure, here's 50% of my monthly income, thank you.

We all know that parquet floors is code for "This building is older than you are." And "up and coming neighborhood" means you'll probably get mugged on a semi-regular basis. Any building that with a "classic" look is falling apart. You're sick and tired of having mice run around your pantry?

Me too. Solution? Let's get married. (Kinda!) All of the married couples get to split rent on a 1br. Dating and getting married is expensive and time consuming. Ain't nobody got time for that! We'll just skip ahead to the living together part. Cool?

I am- a 30 yo male. Employed. Reasonably attractive. Healthy. Never married. No kids. Good job. Great hygiene. Bonus: I'm a cuddler!

You are - A female between the ages of 26 and 33. Social drinker. Non smoker. No drugs. Good hygiene. No felony charges. Healthy.

We find a one bedroom in a great apartment building with granite counter tops, rude 24hr concierge, and floor-to-ceiling windows. This is a must! We move in together. Enjoy the amenities. Have friends over. Enjoy life.

Caveat - You must love live music, books, crazy wild sex, good wine, and be willing to try out my (often misguided) attempts at cooking.

Who needs dating and getting to know each other and all that nonsense?! We can just cohabitate at [address]...

If interested (and how could you not be after this kick-ass proposal?), respond with a little bit about yourself. Please include photos!

(No Republicans, please.)
*Also, we're not for real getting married. Maybe...*
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Napper on my porch – m4m

I heard a late night kick on my doors and went to look and there you were, passed out drunk after pride festival day1. I went out to investigate and it was like God pulled your mouth open like a Pez dispenser and filled you with Long Island ITs and tequila shots, then dropped you on my porch. I really wanted to talk to you but you seemed shy. Shy or stuck up, not sure which since you wouldn't even react when I pulled your hair or poked you with my BBQ prod. If you happen to see this and remember passing out cold on my porch last night, please feel free to message me if you felt something too. Just tell me what your ankles smell like now. I spent an hour rubbing coconut oil on your hairless, yellow lower calves and ankle. Oh shit, I just gave it away. Anyways, describe what you were wearing and then I'll know it was you.
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Barn Kittens: Blood Thirsty Sisters Free to a Good Home

We have two kittens in need of a new home. Now, when I say kittens, I know you're expecting two lovable fluff balls that you could bond and cuddle with. I assure you that this is not the case.

These sisters are two unstoppable forces of hell fire and lightning. They were born for the sole purpose of wrecking the day of any candy ass mouse, rat, or hippy that is unfortunate enough to cross their path.

What's that? You wanna pet them?
Good luck, mother fucker!

These little rage cannons will leave you feeling empty as they neglect you to further their search for prey. But if you can respect them and leave well enough alone, the sisters will keep your home rodent free and you'll love them for it.

Stats:
Name: Mew
Color: Calico
Bio: This cat is all business all the time. Of the two, she is easily the most vicious. She was born when the waves of Poseidon crashed upon the last saber tooth tiger. The result - the living embodiment of fear in the eyes of all mouse kind.

Name:Espurr
Color: Russian Blue
Bio: The more stealthy of the duo, Lady Espurr prefers clinging to the shadows, patiently awaiting the perfect moment to strike. Though not quite as vicious as Mew, she is still a trained killer with a heart of ice and a hunger for murder.

These kittens are not kid friendly.
They don't like people.
They feel no pain and cannot be reasoned with.

But if you need barn cats to get rid of rats and other such pests, they're your girls.
Sorry I can't enclose pics. As with all evil entities their image can't be captured on film and I'm too scared to try.
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Poem you wrote me – w4m

I found it this morning on a pink sticky note. I saw you leave it, but was too shy to approach you. It read:

You hit my
car asshole
BMW that was
parked behind
you, got your
license plate #

It is a lovely composition, but one thing left me a bit confused: I didn't realize cars had assholes too! Where exactly is the asshole on the car? You may be thinking "you know where the asshole is because you hit it!" But you are mistaken because I did no such thing.

Did you perhaps make a mistake and you meant to write CAT asshole? Cats have assholes (mine proudly shows me hers all the time), and I mix up "cat" and "car" frequently since T and R are next to each other on the keyboard. However, I don't think I hit your cat asshole either because I love cats, assholes and all, and would never do that.

Oh, oh! Perhaps you missed a comma. Yes, yes, this seems likely, as angry, boorish jerks tend to do this. That wasn't very nice of you to call ME an asshole!

Also, I definitely didn't hit your car. Good luck with that.
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Stylish Multi-Functional Bike

This was an art project from my first year at Camosun College Visual Arts program. I did a bunch of the work at Recyclistas and on campus at Camosun, it has a kind of sentimentality to it for me but I no longer feel as connected to it as I did back then (it has been about 5 years).

The frame is really sturdy but because it was built from an adult tricycle it's a kind of fixie (definitely no San Francisco bike!)
The toilet seat part is great for carrying groceries, I used it frequently at Welburns when I lived around there, got lots of comments!
Also if you are big on bike touring in a pinch it can be used a literal toilet! The bottom is a removable steel sheet that is held on with sturdy clamps making it easy to clean afterwards. I say just a good hose down in the backyard and your good to go.

Not to mention the amount of interest from the ladies when you ride this thing down the street! I dunno what it was but it was a kind of pick up bike back then, maybe things have changed but when I rode this thing around town I was a freaking chick magnet!

All in all it's a sweet set of wheels that is both functional and statement art piece by a local artist!

Price is firm but I'm up for trades
You will have to pick up
Namaste
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Creepy Ceramic Rabbits

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? Well, if you have a warped sense of aesthetics, this is the find of the century for you! I'd throw them in the trash, but I'm afraid they'd return in the middle of the night, seeking human flesh and retribution. Please. Save me. Take these.
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