HELP ME GET RID OF BURNINGMAN GIRL

Help ! She won't leave and can't accept that Burning Man is over !
Please take this girl off my hands. Her name is 'Leaf', seemed ok out there in the desert, and she helped us with our art vehicle, "The Giant Six Pack". She's on the couch, still sandy and stinky. She still has goggles on her head, which I'm pretty sure she never put over her eyes. I don't know what to do. She smoked all my weed. She has no I.D. , but is kind of cute. . . in a 'Burning Man' kind of way. BUT IT'S OVER, PLEASE HELP, IF YOU KNOW 'LEAF', EMAIL ME AND DRIVE HER TO PORTLAND OR ANYWHERE.

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Needed: Fall Boyfriends

Seeking Fall Boyfriends

2 smart, funny, attractive girls each looking for a fall boyfriend with chill group of bro friends, now is the time you must start dating someone in order to spend the holidays together/go on ski trips/have a NYE kiss you're stoked on.

Labor Day has happened, we are saying goodbye and filtering out our casual summer, meet up at 2 a.m. hook ups and are looking for boys we might be able to stand being sober around.

Needed: 2 males interested in something steady/serious-ish as the weather fades from hot, humid, and care-free to crisp, chill Patagonia vest season. Interested parties should have a window in their bedroom and want to cuddle with the window slightly open to let the fresh autumn air in while a fall scented candle (that I'll buy for you, babe) fills the room with cozy comfort.

Requirements
Chill group of guy friends (preference will be given to bros who come from the same group of friends, just because that makes it easier and more fun for double date brunching)
27 and older
6 feet or taller (if you're 5'11" but have a personality to make up for the height difference, willing to consider it. Any shorter? Don't apply.)
Wardrobe should include: Driving mocs, Barbour coat, Half-Zips (at least 3, please send pics if possible), Ray-Bans (Wayfarers or Clubmastesr preferred, but open to other styles), loafers, Patagonia vest(s), Vineyard Vines, basketball shorts for me to sleep in
College education. Ivy league preferred. Def in a frat or played a sport (lacrosse, crew, tennis, etc.)
Probs spent at least 4 weekends in Montauk over the summer

Activities can include but are not limited to
Apple Picking
Sunday Fundays
Borrowing your pullover and returning it after an indecent amount of time, if at all
Taking selfies in Patagonia vests/taking selfies while doing all activities #fall #boyfriendweather
Watching football (aka me getting drunk while you watch football, and you thinking it's so adorable when I wear jeans and Converse to the bar and get blackout in your team's hat.) *sneakers show how chill and laid back I am < this is why it's kinda essential for the two boys to be friends so me and my friend can blackout together and I won't get bored.
Cooking - Instagramming dish with captions such as "Fall night with my babe @yourhandle *heart emoji all the fall emojis*"
Brunching outdoors until weather permits

Strange how the night moves, with autumn closing in
(If you don't know that song, don't apply)

Looking forward to meeting you!
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Creepy Eye of Sauron Pillow

This really weird creepy thing was left for us. It needs to find another home. It looks like some sort of hand made pillow eye of Sauron. The colors aren't right though, so maybe it was a color blind Tolkien fan, it could happen. It's got a string so you can hang it on something, maybe the front door knob to keep solicitors, religious peddlers and hobbits at bay?
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Need Chicken Diapers?

Do you have indoor chickens or ducks? Do you need diapers for your fowl to keep your house clean? We can help!

We make custom chicken/duck diapers in a variety of fabric colors and patterns.

Prices range from $9 to $12 each.





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1957 Chevy

This car has lots of potential. It has a 350 V-8, Automatic, Digital dash, custom stereo, power steering, power brakes, good paint job. needs some work, but this baby is a daily driver. Very reliable. People ask to use it for photo ops. See what girls do to be near it. It is easily one of the top ten American cars ever made. Own a piece of history. $25,000 or Best Offer!
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Stupid Christmas Plates and Mugs

Here we have some stupid christmas shit.

They're pretty ugly but my ex-wife really liked them. So much so that, just like me, she left them behind.

Her loss your gain!

Four mugs for hot coco when you and the important people in your life are gathered around the Firelog channel in your ugly sweaters complaining about the mild Vancouver winters.

Three plates so that while you all are enjoying your coco, three of you can also enjoy cookies while making sure the second born still knows he was never wanted.

Need to go asap, otherwise they get used for target practice with my buddy's glock.
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You Farted During “Boyhood” – mw4m

There we were, just enjoying a nice quiet Saturday night at the movies. A slow mover, Linklater's "Boyhood." Some popcorn. A few sodas. Nothing really happens in the film, we found. For about 90 minutes or so we stare listlessly at the screen. It's a thinking man's film, I say. Beautifully shot. It's about life, and death and relationships and things of that nature. Just then, at a brief, carefully-timed cinematic pause in dialogue, an enormous fart from somewhere in the back pierces an otherwise silent movie theatre. It had the impact of a baseball bat hitting a leather couch, or George Foreman working the heavy bag. Whack. Loud, deep and masculine.The seat cushion heroically absorbed most of the blow, but not enough that each and every person in the movie theatre instantly burst into nervous laughter. The laughter continued for what felt like a good 5 minutes, until tears streamed down our faces. Even well after the blast, we quietly chuckled to ourselves with a 'remember the time that guy farted in the movie theatre' gleam in our eyes. And just like that, with a soft chuckle and a deep breath, we were back into the film. Things happened, people drove around Texas, relationships came and went, there was crying, there was hope. It was as if we had all forgotten about the fart that had brought us together that night. As the sun began to set on screen, the teenage boy, no longer a boy, transitions into an adult, before our very eyes, and looks, intently, lustfully into a young girls eyes, as if to lean in for a kiss, and braaaaaaap. Another fart from the back row, like two giant hands clapping together, and the screen goes dark, roll credits. We decided, after laughing our way out of the theatre, and all the way home, that this was the best movie that we had ever seen. I imagine the lone fartist sauntering off into the sunset. His work here done.
If only I could say thank you, kind sir. You are truly a master of your craft.
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some kinda magic rock

I have a rock... that plugs in? I'm guessing it's a heater for a lizard or a snake or badger or some sort of land dwelling fish. If you have one of those animals and want an electric rock, let me know. I also have a bowl (i assume the land fish must get in this to keep it's land gills wet), and a cave (too small for a badger). These items have never been tested!! I picked them up from a garage sale when i got an aquarium.

Im asking $0 firm. No haggling
Super cereal inquiries only plz
Mitchell text only
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